Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Faculty Once Again Defeat Media

The Faculty “Heroes” (for what other name would suffice, Dear Reader?) once again defeated the Team of Media Outlets and Various Students (team name: “Huns”) in last night’s Eight Annual Griffon Basketball Tip-Off Party.

The Heroes, eight hale and valorous faculty and staff (Bergland, Bergman, Cadden, Ellis, Johnson, Lawley, Rhoad, and Unzicker), were comprised of no less than 24.3% EFLJ faculty. Bob “The Point Factory” Bergland (person with ball in picture) fought off both student elbows and his mid-forties to score forty-five of the thirty-six points that it took to beat the dreaded Huns. “I did what I could, and what I could was pretty darned impressive, If I say so myself,” Bob offered. While Mike “Moral Support” Cadden (short person without the ball in above picture) scored no “points,” his constant helpful comments such as “Atta boy, Bob” and “Way to take that rock to the hole, Bob!” and “Yea, Bob!” were considered by some to be the difference in a close game.

Down 22-10 in the early going, the Heroes decided that on defense they would stand between the Huns and the basket at which they appeared to be shooting. This strategy, drawn up in animated fashion on a white board at court’s edge, proved vital in the contest’s outcome. The Faculty prevailed 36-31.

The final minute saw the Heroes employing a “four-corners” strategy in which they held the ball in order to keep the other team from scoring. The consensus of the Heroes following the game was that this was much less tiring than actual basketball and would be employed immediately next year with the plan of winning 2-0.

Congratulations, Faculty. The students needed another reason to love you so.

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